Reflection of 2016!

So 2016, for the world has been pretty naf for the world on the whole, so many celebrities lost their lives this year (RIP Prof. Snape), Britain left the EU, and America elected Trump as president (really America?! What were you thinking?! Ditto to Britain!!)
I lost a close friend earlier this year, but thankfully only to distance, and distance can only make the heart grow fonder, and I now realise that our friendship means more than just how close by she lives.
We had 2 fabulous holidays this year, granted we stayed in the UK but we met some amazing people and made some fantastic friends and even more magical memories as a family. There was a camping trip with the most amazing night sky which I can still picture right now, reunions with friends, meeting new friends, trying new things and loving them, and just generally changing my life one step at a time!! Had a conversation with my idol Lucy Spraggan when we met her at Pride, that was amazing, there's just been so many positive things this year, life is good and I've learned so many lessons, especially lessons in how I need to learn not to GAF (give a f*#k) what people might say or think about me, because this year I learned the hard way that not everyone you trust implicitly has your back, sometimes they're trying to stab you in it, despite you bending over backwards and going out your way to help them, but bitter I'm not, and I learned that it's better to just move on and forget people like that.
Here's to 2017, hopefully the year I reach my slimming world target, the year I turn 35, celebrate 10 years of marriage, and maybe tick a few things off my bucket list too! X

Reflection on 2015!

2015 has genuinely been a really good year for me! 

We've made so many memories as a family!! Trips to the circus, a concert, Dylan Evans tour, fairytale in the woods, a magical experience, Blackpool illuminations, road trips, camping trips, meals out, new pets, amazing friends, new family members and bonds formed to last a lifetime. 

This year has changed my life, it's been the year that I knew I was stronger than ever, I've been able to help others I hope through my own experiences, I've been strong enough to finally begin the battle with my weight and I hope 2016 is the year I finally get my life back, I plan on ending 2016 as half the woman I was when I entered it, all the love, all the personality, twice the confidence but half the size ;-) . 

This year has been amazing, our family bonds were tested to their limits but bounced back deeper and stronger than ever, the smiles were wide, the laughs were loud, the memories have been unforgettable and the moments to be cherished. 

I want 2016 to be the year I push my boundaries further than ever, over the past few years, I've stepped out of my comfort zone, I've learned to love myself, I've learned how to be positive, I've fought depression and won, I'm a better person than I was a few years ago!

So this year I will push my boundaries even further, I want to try new things, read new books, travel to new places, learn new skills, maybe find something new to study, develop my writing skills, and reach out to others. This year is going to be amazing!! I know this already because life is only what you make of it and I plan to make it amazing!!!!

Reflection on 2013!

So apparently 2011 and 2012 did their very best to break me, 2013 tried that little bit harder again and very almost succeeded!! Maybe now life will finally have realised that I cannot and will not be broken!! 

This year we had a holiday, the girls had a surprise birthday party, my sister got engaged, we discovered Buddhas and we made some pretty amazing friends too. 

Both of us have been on a journey to self discovery this year, the hubby has found himself enlightened, he's become more easy going, less tense, less snappy, an all round calmer and more placid person. 

I've had my own journey this year, I've been to rock bottom, I've found myself lower than I've ever felt before, believing the only way out was death and not caring how I achieved that goal. Thankfully I sought help, professional help before I managed to succeed in something awful and impossible to undo. 

I have faced my worst fears and I have come to realise and understand that I have the power within myself to be stronger and braver than I ever believed was possible, the biggest lesson I've learnt this year is that I am worthy and I am enough! I am worthy of love, the love others give to me and the love I'm learning to give myself too, and I am enough just the way I am, I am good enough, I am brave enough and I am strong enough to be the person I was always meant to be. I want to make 2014 my year, a year of self discovery, self love, self care and the year I finally get myself a puppy ;-) x

Reflection on 2012!

So I managed a whole 4 blog posts or something in 2012 :-/ maybe this year I can make it 5 lol!!
2012 wasn't the kindest of years to us, and we experienced far more loss that we could ever imagine, from family to pets, friends, jobs and even relationships. 
If 2011 tried to break me, then 2012 tried a little bit harder to break me. Thankfully neither succeeded and hopefully 2013 will give me a break rather than try even harder again to break me!!
Heaven gained far too many angels this year :( starting with my best friends beautiful baby boy Huey, then Lucas's Nan, our little Ellie dog who we've had for 13 years and then my lovely friends husband too :( sadly 2012 taught my babies some lessons about life, and about death, lessons that at the ages of 3/4 and 9/10 they're still too young to be learning in my eyes. 
2012 was the first year since my beautiful Evie was born that I did not have to accompany her to the operating theatre and leave her safety in the hands of her surgeon, really never believed we would reach that point in her life so fast, but so thankful that we did reach that huge milestone :)
2012 has given me wonderful new friendships to focus on, and also cut family ties that were quite simply just dragging me down, the loss of those relationships didn't have much, if any impact on our lives, other than showing me that I have strength and fight in me that I didn't realise!!! 
2012 was a big year for our marriage also, it saw us go from strength to strength and also hit rock bottom. 
2013 is the year that I focus on myself as a person, and focus on my amazing family and wonderful friends. I'd like to pick up my writing again, develop my clips and bobbles further, and concentrate on the wonderful friends and family I have in my life :-) 
Happy New Year xxx

Reflection on 2011

So 2011 has seen so many things happen in my life, some good, some bad and some that just hurt. I've learnt a lot from the goings on of this year and I believe I am a stronger person as a result of this year. 

I've lost friends, I've gained friends and I've learnt who are the friends that I can turn too in need - and I've been quite shocked by some of my findings on the friendship front. I've learnt that although you think someone is a close friend that person may not share your feelings and I've lost a few of these 'friends' this year. I've also discovered that friendships can spring from the strangest of places and these have actually shown to be true and genuine friendships throughout 2011 :) 
As we leave 2011 behind and go into 2012, I am so appreciative of the friends I take forward with me and I although bittersweet I leave behind the people I once believed to be friends. 
2011 has brought a lot of changes for our family health wise too, it started with me having my gallbladder removed and being left with some damage to bile ducts which was causing liver problems, then being diagnosed with a hiatus hernia too. Eve this year has had 2 balloon dilations and been put back on her reflux meds. Libby has had Several diagnosis' this year, we've found out she has sensory processing disorder, amongst a few other issues and we are still waiting to hear about her having high functioning aspergers/autism. As we enter 2012 we are also waiting to find out if Eve is having hearing difficulties - the appointment is january 18th so not too much longer to wait for that news. 
2012 is the year when Luca and I plan to renew our wedding vows and have a fresh start in our relationship by putting aside the misgivings and mistakes of the past and go forward together stronger than ever. 
2011 is the year that tried its hardest to break me, it is also the year that failed because I cannot be broken :) I have faced and overcome far too much to be brought down. I have faced so much this year - suicidal tendencies, surgery, depression, lost friendships, marriage breakdown and many health issues, but I am emerging stronger than ever and more than ready to face whatever 2012 has to throw my way :) 
Bring it on!!!